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This
February 1st, a battle for supremacy was waged. Among screaming, towel
waving, jersey clad fans a contest of epic proportions was underway. No,
I’m not talking about the Super Bowl, but the Buffalo Wild Wings
“Blazin’ Challenge” For those unfamiliar with the challenge, the Buffalo
Wing themed restaurant offers a chance for fame to anyone that dare eat
12 wings smothered in their special “Blazin’” sauce. To make things
worse, those who accept the challenge are not allowed to partake of any
beverage, dipping sauce, or anything other than the 12 pain-bringers and
much finish every morsel of meat and sauce in less than six minutes.
Being as I am a “chili-head” or someone that enjoys extraordinarily
spicy food, I decided to take on this challenge on behalf of G-Vegas
Magazine.
The waitress arrived with my impending doom and a stop watch, with a
rather comical but frightened look on her face. Quickly a crowd of fans
tore themselves away from The Big Game to watch me suffer. I was already
sweating. I almost could hear Michael Buffer in the background. “In the
blue corner, weighing in at an over critical weight of 270 pounds,
G-Vegas Magazine Food Critic… BIIIIIGGGGUUUUSSSSSS!” I would bow and
play to the crowd as people chanted “FOOD IS GOOD, FOOD IS GOOD!” Then
Buffer would continue, “And his opponent, hailing from the depths of
hell, weighing in with 12 smoldering wings, THE HABANERO HAYMAKER………….BLLLLAAAZZZIIINNNN!”
With this thought in my head I’m very nervous, especially considering
that the editor of this wonderful publication announced if I did not
defeat these evil little things, that I would have to pay for everyone’s
dinner. Now terrified, my waitress sounded for me to begin. I plowed
through the first few wings trying to ignore the intense heat that was
quickly causing my eyes to water and my head to sweat. After six, I no
longer felt the cold of that winter air. The crowd was chanting “BIIGUS
BIIGUS BIIGUS,” except for a few that had bet on me to lose. I would not
give those the satisfaction. After two minutes and seventeen seconds I
defeated my enemy and smote its remains upon the table. I was
victorious…that is other than killing half of my taste buds during the
battle. For my display of courage and heroism, ok gluttony and
masochism, I was awarded with a BW3 Blazin’ Challenge T-Shirt and my
picture was hung on the Blazin’ challenge with other Wing Warriors like
myself.
If you dare to follow in my footsteps, beware, you must sign a waiver of
no liability to absolve the restaurant of any….gastrointestinal
repercussions that may follow the challenge. But hey, what’s a little
pain for a free T-Shirt? You can accept the Buffalo Wild Wing “Blazin
Challenge” anytime, just call your waitress and ask for your turn for
pain.
Want to see your favorite restaurant in G-Vegas Magazine? Email your
suggestions to thebigus@yahoo.com.. |
